Fruit of the Spirit: Self-Control

When I hear the word “self-control,” I automatically think of being in control of one’s self. It seems like simple concept to be in control of one’s own thoughts, words, and actions. It’s actually one of the hardest things for us as humans to do. Everything we do in our lives requires self-control to one degree or another.

There are 18 verses in the Bible that mention self-control. All, except one verse, are found in the New Testament. The majority of these verses deal with having self-control in regard to sexual immorality. This is a very difficult area for all people to exercise self-control. This is especially true in today’s society where we are constantly bombarded with images, speech, and music that promote all varieties of sexual immorality. Self-control is mentioned four times in Titus chapter 2. In this chapter, Paul is giving instructions to groups of people on what characteristics they should have and how to teach sound doctrine. He addresses older/younger men, older/younger women, and bondservants. He issues a special charge to older women to instruct the younger women to be self-controlled and pure, loving their husbands and children. Paul gives these instructions on how to act so that no one may find cause to doubt these people teaching the doctrine of Christ. All these traits and behaviors are what we, as Christians, should have. By having these traits and demonstrating these behaviors in Titus chapter 2, those who know us should never doubt that we are a child of God. In 1 Timothy chapter 3 and Titus chapter 1, self-control is listed among the qualifications for those who are overseers of the church. In 1 Timothy 2:9, women are instructed to dress with self-control and to exercise modesty. Apparel can become a stumbling block to others. Women should be adorned with what professes godliness. In 1 Corinthians 7, self-control is mentioned in the marriage relationship. Paul instructs married couples to engage in intimacy and not deprive one another so that Satan cannot tempt them due to lack of self-control. We see this too often in today’s society. Spouses drift apart physically and emotionally and seek comfort from another. That is a lack of self-control. Having self-control over one’s own desires is very difficult. If we lack self-control, we become selfish. We are seeking to satisfy our desires no matter the outcome. To avoid sexual immorality, Paul instructs those who cannot exercise self-control to marry so they do not “burn with passion” in 1 Corinthians 7:9.

There are other areas on our lives where we must exercise self-control. We must exercise self-control with our temper. This is difficult for many people. When we let others affect the way we respond to certain actions, we lose our self-control. We often say things in the heat of the moment that cannot be taken back. Words hurt and they are permanent. You cannot un-hear something that is said to you. Self-control in this instance takes on the meaning of restraint. When we are angered by something or someone, we must keep our anger in check. Matthew 5:39 says “….but if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” It takes self-control to not respond in a way that will harm someone else. Human nature wants to take immediate revenge on the one who hurt us. We must rise above that temptation and remain in control of our thoughts and actions. Ephesians 4:26 tells us “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Anger is a natural human emotion, but the response to the anger is what can be sinful. The tongue is the most dangerous part of the body. It can do a lot of damage. The first 12 verses of James 3 talk about the dangers the tongue can cause. Verse 8 says “but no human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” If it cannot be tamed, it must be controlled.

If you are an athlete, you must have self-control to train your body to endure the sport and/or event you are training for. You must eat healthy and engage in rigorous physical activity. An athlete also must have control over their mind. They have to discipline their selves to commit to the diet and exercise routine that helps prepare them for their event. This self-control helps the athlete train to win a reward. 1 Corinthians 9:25 states “every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.” The things we do to exercise self-control in this world to obtain something physical does not compare to what we will win if we exercise the self-control over our behaviors that will get us into heaven.

Proverbs 25:28 says “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” When we lack self-control, we leave ourselves open to Satan’s influences. We will do or say anything to get that instant satisfaction that we are seeking. It could be something as small as saying “yes” to that extra piece of cake. Or, it could be the sin of sexual immorality in whatever form is attractive. When we are unable to control ourselves, we lose our defense against Satan’s temptations. Self-control is a gift from God. 2 Timothy 1:7 says “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” God gave us free will, but he also gave us the ability to exercise self-control with that free will.