Priorities and Perception

Have you really stopped to think about how you prioritize your life? I mean, I guess in the back of my mind I know what is important to me. However, when I really stop and think about what I do in a day in my life and how I spend my time, does that give an accurate reflection of what my priorities really are?

I got one of the best "thank you" notes the other day from a former coworker who is lucky enough to have reached retirement. In this letter, she wrote about each member of our first grade "Dream Team" and what she liked most about each of us. She sent us all a copy of the same letter so we could see what she thought about each one of us. It is very interesting to read how someone else perceives you as a person, including all your quirks and attitudes. I thought about titling this post "How Do Others See You?" or "What Are Our Priorities?" but I guess my job as a writer is to merge both my points together, hence the final title.....#writerprobz

1. The first observation she makes about me is my need for consistency and organization in my life. She couldn't be more right. Pretty much everyone who spends time with me quickly learns that everything I own has its place. My friends would mess with me when I was younger and move a few things around on my night stand or make the doily crooked just to see my reaction. Of course, I would immediately fix any discrepancies upon discovery (which they found highly amusing). She made the  joke about how I brought a salad to lunch everyday. I did....for a while. I do like consistency because it allows for easier planning. I also like to think I'm efficient; therefore, being consistent helps with efficiency. That's not to mean that I can't be flexible....I can, it just depends on the overall circumstances (and I don't promise to handle it well). A person like that must make time for study and personal growth, right? WRONG! It took me a while to realize that I needed to schedule that part of my life, too. That means waking up a few minutes earlier so I can start my day with Bible reading and study. A friend posed a question on social media that really made me rethink my priorities: "what if we spent as much time studying God's word as we did on social media?" Wow! Talk about eye opening! What if we spent the first minutes of our day in God's word instead of social media? So, since then I've been trying to do that. I have been pretty successful on most days. I've even researched and found different books and blog posts to help me in this endeavor. I'm always looking for more.....
2. The second observation she makes is that I think time with friends/coworkers is important. She recounts one of the first days we'd known each other where I fuss at her for working in her room instead of eating lunch with the team. I made the point that she only got 20 minutes of work done. Surely you can spare 20 minutes of work to give yourself a break and bond with your team. I like to be diligent and get things done just as much as the next person; however, I also know the importance of giving yourself a break to enjoy other things. I've been extremely blessed these past few years to work with women I enjoy spending time with. I don't know how I'd survive teaching without these women. I think it's important to foster those relationships whenever you can. Don't let "work" be all consuming. You can spare a few minutes to give yourself a break.
3. The next point she makes is about my teaching ability. Sometimes we, as humans, need validation. It's nice to hear, especially from someone who has been in the field and has a wealth of knowledge, that you're doing a great job. No matter what we do in life, we should make sure we are doing it well. I'm blessed with a career I chose and am passionate about. That does not mean that everyday is a walk in the park. Just ask any teacher, they'll concur. Make sure one of your priorities is doing your job well.
4. One of my favorite observations is the one where she states: "I like that you put your faith and your husband first. That you appreciate the time you spend with Cooper and you don't let school work take over your life. Never let a 'job' be the priority in your life." Wow! It was this statement that inspired me to write this post. You always hear sermons where they make you think about how you live your life outside the church building. Those always make you think. Sometimes I'm not always sure if what I'm doing during the week reflects my thoughts and beliefs. I'm thankful that someone sees Christ and my faith in me. OK, maybe some of my priorities are in the right spot. I try not to work late on Wednesday nights since I have Bible study. If I'm teaching a Bible class that quarter, I try not to overwhelm myself with work. I love that someone notices the love I have for my husband and how much we love each other. We try to do as much together as possible while we don't have children. His parents are always joking about how we still act like newlyweds. Well, if after 5 years of marriage we still act like it's been 5 months.....I take it that we're doing something right. I totally agree with her statement about not letting a "job" be the priority in your life. I see people all the time that work, work, work. They may have the best of intentions to provide for their family. However, if you're making all that money but have no time to enjoy it with the ones who matter most, what good does it do you? One of my priorities is to be thankful for the blessing of a job I love that God has provided me. Also, I need to remember that he has provided other blessings in my life that he wants me to enjoy. One of my favorite passages: Matthew 6:25-34 talks about how God takes care of the birds and all his creation. He will take care of us, too. Verses 33-34 are my favorite: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore, do not anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble (ESV)."
5. I set boundaries. She was referring to my students in the classroom, but I believe one must set boundaries in their everyday life. In my first point, I made myself set a boundary to spend time in God's Word first thing in the morning. I also need to set a boundary to exercise first thing in the morning (this boundary has been known to waver from time to time). Set boundaries for what you put in your body. Set boundaries for how long you will work. I do my best to leave work no later than 4:00, and usually I'm out of there by 3:45 unless I have a meeting. Boundaries are just as important to adults as they are to children.
6. Finally, be who you are and be proud of it. I understand some people may take this phrase to the extreme. However, I try not to make apologies for who I am. I realize that I have flaws. I apologize for the offense those flaws may cause, and I try to work on them on a consistent basis. But, they do make up my personality as a whole. I wouldn't be me without my flaws. Sometimes you have to embrace those flaws and make them work. I can be overly persistent and impatient. That's a flaw. However, it's useful when things need to get done on a schedule. I make it work. I try to tweak my flaws so I don't cause others any stress. I'm not always successful. I'm proud that I'm a Christian (I don't always act like I should, but I'm a work in progress). I'm proud that I'm goofy and random. I'm proud to be a square (organized, scheduled, routined). I'm a proud wife. I'm a proud teacher. This is me!

It's a long post. I leave you with 2 questions to consider:

• What are your priorities?
• How do other perceive you?

Think about it.....you may be surprised at what you discover!

*This post was inspired by Sue Joseph-one of the most wonderful women I've met. I'm a better person for knowing her and a better teacher for having had the privilege (however short it was) to work with her.

In the Face of Trials

As I was reading my daily devotional from "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian, I came across a few verses in today's devotional that really hit home. Today's prayer and devotional was praying for your husband and his trials. We all go through trials; that's no secret. There is not a single one of us who has a problem-free life. What sets us apart, is how we deal with those trials when they come our way and what our attitude is towards them and those that surround us. To some, it seems crazy to be thankful for your trials; however, as Christians, if we come to God in thankfulness and praise he will bring good things to us. These trials can be a learning experience and a means to make us turn back to God. I bookmarked in my Bible the verse that shows us this....James 1:2-3- "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. (ESV)" Steadfastness.....or patience. There's the old joke out there that you should never pray for patience because you may not like the way God chooses to help you practice that patience. God doesn't just give us patience on a silver platter. No, patience has to be practiced and learned. Trials are the way to learn said patience and put it into practice. It's a way to make us turn to God and seek him. Think about it: when we go through tragedies, what's the first thing most people do? They pray. Why? Because they hope God is listening and will intervene on their behalf. It never occurs to some that they can be taught something from their experiences. God always listens. He just doesn't always answer in the way we think he should. We seem to think our way is the best way. I've been guilty of this on more than one occasion. Omartian said something in today's reading that really made me think: "...if we never suffered anything, what kind of shallow, compassionless, impatient people would we be? But prayer can help us maintain a positive outlook of gratitude, hope, patience, and peace in the midst of it..." It also makes me think of a scene in one of my favorite movies, "A Walk to Remember," where Landon is telling Jamie that he has no faith because of all the bad things that happen in the world. She then replies that without suffering, there'd be no compassion. His reply: "Yeah, well tell that to those who suffer." He didn't know at the time that she was suffering from Leukemia. See, that's the viewpoint some take. Bad things happen to good and bad people alike. The reverse is true, too. Another verse I love: Romans 8:28- "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (ESV)." I do not believe we stay in a constant state of suffering. Another good, old saying: "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it."

I've had many trials in my short 30 years on this earth. The one that glaringly sticks out to me as one of the hardest times in my life happened just 2 years ago. Wanting to be a mother all my life, I was overjoyed to find out I was pregnant. Even more so, when I found out I was pregnant with twins. My joy was short lived as I miscarried at 10 weeks. In these past 2 years it's been a struggle for me to get pregnant. I've been frustrated with my husband and frustrated with myself. I had a difficult time, at first, trying to understand what I did wrong to have what I've always wanted ripped away from me. It took me a while to realize that I hadn't done anything wrong. I wasn't being punished. It's life, and stuff like that happens....even to good people. It made me very reflective. I really think it was then that I started seeking the Lord in a more intentional manner. I struggled in my marriage that first year or so after the miscarriage. I just couldn't understand why we couldn't get back on the same page and conceive again! Over time, I began to see some things I could learn from my experience. Compassion was definitely something I learned. I had another friend who was going through the same thing at about the same time. I've had friends seek children through adoption, only to have it fall through time and time again. I've seen other women I know struggle with trying to conceive, even after being told that it would never happen. I even had a dear friend give birth to a baby that only survived 19 hours. Knowing that these "good" people were hurting like I was hurting taught me something. It's this thing called life, and it happens to everyone. Since then, I've been shown the glory of God in the way he's worked in the lives of these women I know. He's blessed a few through adoption, and he's blessed some with biological children who were told "no" by doctors several times. See, God does work for good for those that love him and seek him.

I also had to let go of some bitterness that I had when those who I thought were "undeserving" of children became parents before me. Who am I to judge when someone has a right to become a parent? I'm not proud of those moments. However, they're part of my growing process. What's happened since this experience? Well, I've been actively reading the Word daily and reading devotional content on blogs and books. I've been focusing on making my marriage stronger. One of my good friends, who just happens to be a new mom, said that you really need a strong marriage to have kids. My husband and I have been working on becoming stronger as a couple, so that when we are blessed with children (notice I said "when", not "if") we can face the challenges of parenting together as a team. We spend a lot of time together doing "life." We enjoy taking painting classes together and displaying our work around our home. We've done a lot of traveling. It was after this experience that we decided that until we have children, we will allow ourselves one extravagant vacation each year. A few weeks ago, a friend at school stopped on her way out for lunch and prayed with me and another friend. I asked her to pray over my marriage, that my husband and I might be on the same page and the Lord will bless us with a child. Since that day, something changed in my marriage. I truly feel that our prayer was answered.

It's with all this that I leave you with two more verses:
Romans 12:12- "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer (ESV)."
Romans 5: 3-4- "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope (ESV)."

Ok, so I found 2 more verses having to do with how we should pray....
Mark 11:24- "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours (ESV)."
James 1:6-8- "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways (ESV)."