Saturday, May 16, 2015

Faith: A Lesson in Waiting



 Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs that are devotionals designed to help me become a better wife and a better woman of God. I've found a great blog that has daily devotionals. It covers different topics. I just finished up a study of 1 & 2 Timothy. I am currently studying the Fruit of the Spirit. Check out one of my favorite new blogs here!

A couple of days ago the particular "fruit" of the day was patience (read the post here). This has been a life long struggle for me. I am not a patient person. I tend to want things done my way...right now! I like to plan things out and know what's going on down to the very last detail. (My mother-in-law loves to tease me about this particular personality trait all the time). This is not always a bad thing, however. It's when I start to expect my life to turn out the way I think it should and be on my particular time table that it becomes a problem. Many people have to continually tell me, "Everything's in God's timing!" Deep down, I know this to be true. I know that He knows me better than I know myself. He knows what I need and when I need it. A couple of months ago I found this article that someone had shared on Facebook. Usually I skip right over these unless the title really draws me in. When I first read it, I initially intended to write about it here, but time got away from me and I forgot. Then a couple of days ago someone else shared the same article. Then another blogger I follow shared two verses that went hand-in-hand with the same thought. When you add that to what I've been struggling with on and off for the past 2 years, well......it's time to journal (blog) those thoughts.

Check out the article that I'm referring to here.
How do we feel when God makes us wait? If you're like me and patience is something you struggle with, it makes you feel anxious and worried that you'll never have your heart's desire. One of my favorite lines in this article is: 

 "If he is telling you 'no' today, maybe it's because he has a better 'yes' for you tomorrow."

Almost 2 years ago I miscarried twins. I thought I was finally getting that "Yes" from God when I found out I was pregnant. Then just 10 short weeks later, they were gone. It was not they "yes" moment I had hoped for. The two years of trying since have brought disappointment and frustration. I keep running into "NO!" Each time I found out someone in my life was pregnant, I felt the pain resurface. Sure, I would eventually be happy for them.....but the pain would be there. Along with the pain would come the questions: Why not me? When will it be my turn? Sometimes I would think that maybe it was God's way of telling me that I was not quite ready to take on the role of "mom." A couple of months ago it occurred to me that I should probably try to become a better woman of God and wife to my husband if I ever want to succeed in the mom department. I had to change me before I could expect anything to happen. Change had to happen with me first before my marriage and relationship with my husband could support being parents. I'm still a work in progress, but I've definitely seen changes and improvements. Each morning I read a portion of God's word from one of my Bible plans and from my devotional on the blogs I follow. Last Friday, a sweet lady at work prayed for me with another friend at work. She prayed for my marriage and our desire to be parents. She prayed that I first be cleansed so that I may serve the Lord and fulfill His purpose for me. I feel God's presence in our marriage. I just need to keep in mind that during life's "waiting periods" that my faith must remain strong because He knows what's best, and it doesn't always fall into place with what I think is best. When I read James 1:6-8, verse 7 says "for that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord..." "That person" is one who doubts and is without faith. Well, I definitely do NOT want to be that person. 

I have several verses bookmarked in my Bible that deal with waiting on the Lord's timing and having faith that He will do what is best for you. My goal is to continue to spend time in God's word daily and learn what I can do to further His purpose for my life. I also continue to strive to be a better wife for my wonderful husband. Those who know me, know I LOVE my husband. He is one of a kind. I want to help build him up and encourage him to be the husband he strives to be. Together, with God at the center of our marriage, we will have the type of relationship God desires of us. Hopefully one day God will bless that relationship with children!

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